He said to me: I don’t know why you wear a bra;You’ve got nothing to put in it.
I said to him: You wear briefs don’t you?
He said to me: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him: That’s a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said to me: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said to me: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
I said to him: They don’t have time.
He said to me: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him: Don’t know; Has it ever happened?
He said to me: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
I said to him: They already have boyfriends.
I said to him: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said to me: A widow.
He said to me:
Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him:
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.
I said to him: What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said to me: It's not my fault. I ran out of money.
He said to me: Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
I said to him: Well, you've succeeded.
He said to me: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
I said to him: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on for me.
He said to me: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
I said to him: I would, but you're never there.
He said to me: Two inches more and I would be king.
I said to him: Two inches less and you'd be queen.
The Priest said to me: I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
I said to him: Who's gonna look?
On the wall in a ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."