TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Carol, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
Carol: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
John: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
John: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Carmen: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Carmen: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Richard, go to the map and find North America.
Richard: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Richard!
TEACHER: Andre, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Andre: Me!
TEACHER: Michael, why do you always get so dirty?
Michael: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Ellen: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Tricia: "Sure, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Nathan: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: David, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
David: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Anthony: A teacher.