New Policy: Effective January 2007

[ADF-CaptCC]

New Policy: Effective January 2007



Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If

we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you

are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you

dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you

buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress

just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not

need a raise.



Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If

you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.



Annual Leave Days

Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year. They are called

Saturday & Sunday.



Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for

deceased friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made

to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where

employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in

the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your

lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.



Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a

strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three

minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the

stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second

offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under

the Chronic offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture

will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy. (No pun

intended) he he



Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so

that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch

to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people

get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a

Slim-Fast.





Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a

positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,

concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,

insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation

and input should be directed elsewhere.

[MitcH]

lol im glad my work aint like that...although there is still a few more days of january...*thinks* OH GOD NO!!!!!!! lol

[ADF-Baby]

i feel sorry for sniper. whats the bet that nobbies took that up straight away.

[ADF-Deano]

How did you get a copy of the IR lawsd


 [smilie=laugh[2].gif]  [smilie=laugh[2].gif]

[ADF-Medic]

Thats bloody Cash Converters Policy
 [smilie=laugh[2].gif]  [smilie=laugh[2].gif]  [smilie=laugh[2].gif]

[steve24622]

Just found this..

I worked for them once...

Not funny

[ADF-Rubber]

I,ll have to show my t a,s this so I get more
work done..
Thanks CaptCC